March 4, 2009

Not handsome enough to tempt me
by docsmartypants

I read today that Marvel is releasing a “faithful” five-part comic book “adaptation” of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice. To be honest, I’m not really sure what I think about this. At first I thought it was a joke, but apparently it is the real deal. A preview of the first issue is available online. It is the same story and time-period as the original novel, and I don’t object to the idea in principle, but check out how the Bennett sisters are drawn! (scroll down and click to enlarge that second page) Makes it a little less believable that Mr. Darcy couldn’t find an attractive girl to dance with at the ball, doesn’t it?

Take, for example, Mary Bennett. Mary is supposed to be the plain one. Mary is the boring one. Mary is a wallflower. She’s the one who thought Mr. Collins was the bee’s knees. She is not supposed to be…this:

mb

I have a few obvious problems here. I think they probably don’t need to be spelled out for you in detail. Oddly high on my list is the hair, which they clearly stole off of a soap opera actress back in 1989 and which they have been keeping in a high security vault, frozen, waiting for this day to come.

Actually, Mary reminds me of someone. Who is it? Let me think… Oh! I know who it is!

mis

She looks like one of The Misfits from that ’80s cartoon classic Jem and the Holograms. Obviously with more tasteful makeup choices, but then, who knows what sort of fashion don’ts Mary was sporting back in the ’80s, right?

Now, I don’t really want to pass judgment on something without reading it (OK, yeah, I sort of do), so I’ll make a deal with you: If any of you read this comic and tell me it is the bestest most awesomest thing since sliced bread, I will stop mocking it. Until then, I declare open season on the whole project.

posted under Rants
3 Comments to

“Not handsome enough to tempt me”

  1. On March 7th, 2009 at 3:51 pm Kenneth Says:

    Oh, my eyes! My eyes! Why did I follow that link?

    I, too, am disturbed by their hair. With their lipstick a close second. I think they look possibly more like sluts from a telenovella than an ’80s soap opera.

    And the mother! She looks like a monster. She, unlike Mama Rose, is written as monstrous only for comedic effect.

  2. On March 9th, 2009 at 8:57 am EGT Says:

    I am totally going to read this comic. I shall review it for Echidna.

  3. On March 11th, 2009 at 6:16 pm Bea Says:

    I have no problem with judging it unread. It looks RIDICULOUS.

    I mean, if they’re going to draw them like that, couldn’t they give them some superpowers? Maybe Lizzie could REALLY slay people with her sharp words! Or Mrs. Bennett could create tornadoes with her wild hand gestures! Give Mr. Darcy a light saber!

    SOMETHING!

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